Sunday, August 06, 2006
Now featuring the jogger in place
Your driving through an absolutely crazy intersection in broad daylight and there is nothing new on the radio. Then you spot her/him "the jogger in place." They are wearing the typical jogger attire and the light signal that says, "don't walk" has not changed in what very well may be 20 minutes. Then they begin the single act that drives me insane...jogging in place like a rabbit in heat.
They begin jogging in the little bit of space they have while checking their pulse like a stock share on the rise. Do they need to use bathroom desperately or are they addicted to "jog appeal"?
If their biggest fear is composed of breaks in the streets. Ever hear of a tread mill?
Now Featuring The Grouchy Employee!
We have all been there...standing at a fast food establishment placing an order with, "the grouchy employee." You know the one who makes you feel like a sewer rat
Why is it that young individuals or even older ones for that matter will take out their animosity on innocent patrons of their job? Maybe music should be law at all jobs! You know it's like a dj in the background playing all our happy music...music that raises our spirits and makes work...more than bearable...fun. Not elevator music that the manager has picked out that only he can enjoy.
Now Introducing: The Moped Maniac
It's a hummer alright. But not the oversized SUV you're thinking of. With the wind blowing through your hair very lightly...you can keep your slick style intact because if you look closely the turtle is whizzing speadily past you. It has the ability of a Mongoose or Razor ...with the motor of a vacume cleaner.
Now Introducing...the moped maniac. It is the end of the day and you are stuck in 5:00 traffic. Your airconditioner is of no use at this point so you roll down the windows. Traffic is wearing down your ability to enjoy that familiar song on the radio. And then you spot him...the moped maniac. He wants the rights of a normal vehicle. He's won them. He's using the main roads with you. But he is parking anywhere he pleases and going so slow your fingernails are digging into your steering wheel. You can't help but stare at his inappropriate attire...just then he leans forward like a speed demon on a motorcycle and does the unspeakble...weaves in and out of the lanes!
What on earth is this man's dysfunction? What is with the leaning forward...does he truly believe he has turned into batman gaining special powers enabling him to increase the speed at a single thrust? We can't help but be bitterly confused. We laugh then get furious.
Should these individuals be able to share the roads with "the big guys"? Or should they be given special bike/moped lanes? They appear to be from a different planet. Have you seen them test the theory of how many fools can you fit onto a single seated moped? And if they are causing many of the accidents with their weaving...should we be the one's wearing helmets in our vehicles instead?
Now Featuring: The Man That Talks To Himself
Every single person has come across this man at least once in their life...maybe even several times a day
I often wonder "is" he talking to someone who we just can't see? Is he really out of his mind or just more in tuned with his senses than we are? The truth of the matter is he is not someone we would choose to be trapped in an elevator with. And the sad thing is he may very well enjoy our company because he could even be lonely.
Does our mind invent things or even people to indulge us when we are so lonely it may be unbearable? Just like a child will with their "imaginative friends?" I wonder if some people are unable to "grow out of" this with age.
Next time you see this man simply try to fill your hearts with a bit more understanding. When it becomes your turn to age and you feel so alone in a great big world...an unseen angel or deceased loved one may offer the comfort you need to pass time.